Summer and fall passed and winter came. Everyday, Daryl arrived from work with disagreeable news. He said, “I never saw an author so insulted on the Internet like Dave.”
“People are jealous of others’ success,” I said.
“He gave you the same address listed on his website that anyone who wants to submit a manuscript to his publishing house sends to. Your manuscript went to a shit pile. Moreover,” Daryl said, “I don’t believe Dave is reading your story. You should e-mail him to find out.”
I didn’t want to write to him. I had faith that on the last day of December, Dave would write to me to give me his earnest opinion of my work, but I ended writing to him as Daryl said I should:
On 12/13/07 6:42 PM, "Regina Edelman" wrote:
Hi Dave,
How are you? Did you get my work? December came, and time drives to the middle of it, and my dearest hope is that you are reading my work. Are you? I know your time barely lets you breathe.
Yours,
Regina
----- Original Message -----
From: "Dave Eggers"
To: "Regina Edelman"
Sent: Saturday, December 15, 2007 1:07 PM
Subject: Re: Great letter
Hey there –
It might be a while yet before I could get to your book. I have a book of my own due in mid-January and I can't do any extracurricular work till then. And then, when I get out of that tunnel, I'll be catching up for a while on all the work I've been setting aside... I still hope to read your book, but between reading my students' work, and all the reading for McSweeney's, the Believer, the Best American Nonrequired Reading, my students' college recommendations... It's a very busy time. I have been telling people I will always try to read manuscripts, but I've got myself in a spot where I just can't make promises outside of my students, the McSwys publications, and the eight nonprofits I oversee. I wish I could live without sleep... Let's check back in with each other in a few months –
Yours,
Dave
On 12/15/07 1:40 PM, "Regina Edelman" wrote:
This is a depressing message to me, Dave, but I understand that you are a very busy man, and I will check with you in the future.
Yours,
Regina
When I wrote that note, I felt I was the butt of another cruel joke of life, and didn’t understand why he gave me his resume; I know exactly who he is and about his hard work for philanthropy, that’s why I wrote him for understanding and help. I thought that I wouldn’t hear from him again in ages, but sooner than I thought:
----- Original Message -----
From: "Dave Eggers"
To: "Regina Edelman"
Sent: Monday, December 17, 2007 12:16 PM
Subject: Re: Great letter
There are tons and tons of other writers, editors, publishers out there... I always caution people against choosing me as their main reader for a new manuscript, as I have to read about 200,000 words a week already... But again, I look forward to reading your work as soon as I get out of this tunnel.
Yours,
Dave
I upset him because I said his news depressed me. That’s why he scolded me, but I couldn’t help it, his news truly depressed me. Maybe he feels bad depressing others, but I used the word depressing to ensure his understanding. I didn’t mean to upset a man who is willing to give me a chance. The nature of man is to feel depressed when planned things don’t go as planned, and as a human being, he would have to feel depressed like me if he was in my place. I didn’t mean to offend the man, and he's right, there are tons and tons of other writers, editors, and publishers out there... But, he never cautioned me of anything… Well, he still held my hopes that he would read my work, and that’s what mattered, so I went on, replying to him in a manner I thought friendly:
On 12/17/07 3:48 PM, "Regina Edelman" wrote:
Hi Dave,
It's true there are many other writers, editors, and publishers around; naively, I wanted you to be the first to read my work. I choose you because seems to me you are kind to human life or any other life anywhere in this earth, and earth needs kind soldiers who favor life, understanding of our precious time under the sun. As people say, there are always lights at the end of the tunnel; and lights will brighten for me. I know. Thank you for your encouragement and hope. I need it.
Yours,
Regina
I had not sent my work to anyone else. I thought it wasn’t right to send my work to anyone else to read until I heard from Dave, but I didn’t know how much longer the journey could take with more sleepless nights and December blown. So Daryl and I started to look for agents. I had no idea that we had to compose a sort of form letter in order to be accepted to an agency that might have interest in reading my work and help me publish it. I composed my best letter, but at least a hundred agents refused to read my work. An honest reply, every refusal to read my manuscript.
A subaltern you say, Senator! Every man has the right to demand redress for something that has been taken from him, or for an offense he has suffered. The prejudice which makes a distinction among the classes is pure fantasy. Nature has created all men equal; there is not a single one amongst us who has not issued from his mother’s womb naked and poor, no one whom she preserves or whom she annihilates differently from any other. The sole distinction among them I recognize is that which virtue confers upon them. The only man who is born to be the object of our contempt is he who uses the rights granted unto him by false conventions merely to indulge with greater impunity in vice.
Idiot! Idiot! I blamed myself. I regretted what I wrote to Dave in my last e-mail. Analyzing my writing to him, I thought: I shouldn’t have used the word naively. I sounded arrogant—but he's kind and well educated so he must understand how I feel. It doesn’t make sense he doesn’t understand that precious time runs the same for everyone, no matter who.
I wanted to rectify my words from my last e-mail, and my husband and I realized we never mentioned the title of my novel to Dave, so Daryl decided we should check with him like he said I could, and because over two more months had passed since he assured me a couple times more that he looked forward to reading my work. Maybe he was out of his tunnel. I’d mention my title and send him an excerpt from the manuscript, a few pages he may squeeze in his time to read, and then he’ll respond positively.
To be continued...
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